Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
