I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
