Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
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my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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