Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just blew my weed a kiss
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
