You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
