your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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