and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
