I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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