Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
