Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
