We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
