Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
