Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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