Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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