Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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