Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
