I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
