so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
third nipple confirmed
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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