We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
and you fell through a lawn chair
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
