Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize