I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
