Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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