i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dignity is for republicans.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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