I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
