I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
