Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
