at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
