you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
