Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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