Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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