honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.