I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle