Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
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By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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