Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.