my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
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My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
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She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.