i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
