Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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