I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
