u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize