i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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