would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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