never play flip cup with pint glasses
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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