just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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