booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
