Christians are straight up FREAKS
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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