oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
