Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am midnight drunk by noon
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
