But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize