508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
