Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
where are my eyebrows?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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