ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize