I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Randomize
