She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
