i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
