I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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