what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
