i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
