You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize