Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
