epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize