he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
