D3 body, D1 cock
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I see more hoeing in ur future
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