from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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