Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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