Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
