Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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